Mixed Feelings

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.”……..                                                                                                 Stephen Bishop

Transitions filled with gains and losses
are seen clearly only by looking back.
Everything seems unfamiliar,
sorting the pros and the cons.

Playing the radio in the car as loud as I want.
Watching favorite TV shows whenever I want.
But no more cuddling while listening
to Prairie Home Companion.

Going out for coffee with a work friend
and not worrying someone will feel slighted.
Spending time with girlfriends without feeling guilty.
But no more spur of the moment lunch and a movie.

Planning activities without
having to please someone else.
Designing a social life pleasant to me.
But no more traveling vacations to see the country.

Expressing an opinion without worrying I’ll offend.
Talking on the phone to whoever
I want for as long as I want.
But no more special time for talking and sharing.

Cooking a full sit-down meal is a faint memory.
Taking charge of my own housekeeping or not.
But no more comfort in finding
agreement on big decisions.

A perfect solution eludes
All bargains bring gains and losses.

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