A Table, a Bookcase and a Chair

Three pieces of furniture in my small apartment add style to my home, have intrigued visitors and hold important memories of my past. How and where I got them and what I’ve done with them is a story of significant segments of my life.

The first one I acquired from my mother-in-law in the 1970s. It was a library table that had been in her family for years. Why she gave it to me is a mystery but alI I know is, I saw its potential.

The day I first saw it, this sad looking table showed its age. It had been painted over so many times the finish had wavy bumps. Black paint had been used the last time and the bottom of one of the curved, Flemish Scroll legs had come loose. That was only the beginning; over time all four legs took their turn at unraveling. Each time I taped them together with masking tape thinking, someday I’ll have this table restored.

That rocky marriage and that love/hate mother-in-law are long gone but the table remains with me through many, many moves. Finally, a furniture restorer worked his magic and this lovely oak table became the center of my writing life. I appreciate the grain and purposely keep its surface bare as possible, so its beauty shines through.

The second is a bookcase. For years this musty piece sat in my parents’ living room, off in the corner, filled with old books no one looked at. It too had been painted many times. The finish had ripples from multiple coats. Also, painted black. I wondered if this was some kind of odd tradition I knew nothing about.

Because I was a reader, my mother insisted I should have it. I was concerned since another sister had expressed an interest and I didn’t want to create conflict. So, I deferred twice before finally succumbing to Mom’s pleas. Again, I took it to a restoring expert, who worked his magic once again.

The beautiful oak finish shines and I followed his suggestion to replace the shelves and add beveled glass in each of the two doors; I love the antique door handles that require pushing a small button before pulling the door open.

Finally, there is the chair. This chair was present throughout my childhood. Mother said it was the only chair she could sit in comfortably when she was pregnant. It got lots of use since she was pregnant six times. We began calling it the pregnant chair. And I still do today.

It’s a lovely mahogany chair with carved spindles, curved arms, a swirly, sculpted back and a cushioned seat. I recall Dad recovering it a couple of times and he was no craftsman. Mom gave me the chair and it moved with me often sporting several of my own makeshift covers.

An antique dealer was very interested in it and advised me never to have it refinished since that would reduce its value. This made me love it even more. Finally, I took it to an upholstery repair shop who gave it the royal treatment.

Looking back, I marvel how I valued these neglected, worn-out pieces enough to haul them from one home to another apartment so many times. Glad I did because now I have three prized possessions, fully restored to their former grandeur, that make my home warm and cozy. I use and enjoy each piece daily and love telling their story when guests inquire. I feel like the rescuer of tattered treasures. 

Change

The only constant in life is change.…..’
……………….Heraclitus (6th century Greek philosopher)

It’s one of life’s deepest dilemmas.
One we obsess about, think about,
worry about most of our lives.
How to manage change.
How to avoid change.
How to fight against change.

No matter what we do,
change pounces on our best laid plans.
Change disappoints, doubts, dismays,
while holding us hostage,
rooting out risks,
thwarting ingenious ideas.

But change also surprises.
Offers adventure.
Encourages growth.
Opens doors,
while closing others.
Like it or not, a constant companion.

Living in a Situation Comedy

For me, the situation comedy has always been an important part of my TV viewing. There’s nothing better than sitting down for a half hour of lighthearted entertainment. And tucked into the comedy are points made about the seriousness of everyday life. Now instead of watching a situation comedy, I’m living in one.

The scene opens in the dining room of the senior community where I live. One meal a day, either lunch or dinner, is provided and it’s where I interact with a microcosm of humanity. A lot of it is funny. Some of it is sad. Just like a sit-com.

When I first moved in, each time I went down for a meal I sat at a different table. This was a good way to meet my new community. There’s an unwritten rule that it’s impolite to save seats and turn someone away who might want to join you. Another unwritten rule is to not add a place at an already occupied table since this disrupts serving staff and causes crowding.

Needless to say, both rules have been broken. Not often but it’s the MO of certain individuals. One time, when I was told a seat, though empty was being saved, I nicely said:  I didn’t think that was done here.  To that I was told in the angriest voice possible: I do whatever I want.  Well, okay.

Another time a guest, not a resident, grabbed a place setting from another table and caused everyone to shift so she could join a resident at our fully occupied table; this resident was either her friend or someone she takes care of. I couldn’t figure that out. Of course, the polite residents at the table said nothing, looked either uncomfortable or unhappy. But not a word was spoken.

In my game of table roulette, I can be lucky to have a nice conversation or unlucky when sitting with people who don’t want to talk at all. It’s kind of a crap shoot. I take a crossword puzzle book with me for such occasions.

But then there’s that one table where the entire meal involves lots of eye rolling and whispered comments followed by furtive glances toward someone at another table. I can’t hear most of what goes on but can’t help but think: Gee, I wonder what’s being said about me across the room?

Most interesting though is the cast of colorful characters like those found in every sitcom and in real life. We have those too. There’s the woman who needs to tell everyone, not once but several times, that she has two master’s degrees.

There’s the man who many women think is hitting on them. So, a man can’t be cordial or friendly to a woman without accusations of predatory behavior. My view is that he is harmless, perhaps just lonely. This says more about the women’s experiences than about him. And that’s kind of sad.   

The entire community struggles, adjusting to a new resident who suffered brain damage in a serious car accident. It’s amazing how little empathy there is for her erratic behavior and over-the-top responses.

I’m still new and learning to adjust as I go. Please don’t think this place is riddled with negativity because it’s not. I’ve been advised by the majority of residents, the cordial, the thoughtful, that it’s best to “find your peeps,” the like-minded. And I’m working on that.

What’s most enjoyable is being the observer. Whether I’m observing a teenage territorial drama as in Welcome Back, Kotter or the angst of aging as in the Golden Girls, it’s just fun to sit back and listen to the unusual quirks and cute idiosyncrasies of our more spirited residents. I guess I’m both watching and living in a situation comedy.

The Raucous Remodel of 2023

In our senior community, remodeling’s no joke
You could even call it a pig in a poke

Rumors, stories, complaints galore
Notices hung in the elevator, no more

Activities uprooted, cancelled or late
Appointments and arrangements left to fate

New tables, new chairs instead of the old
But will chairs have rollers, no one’s been told

Paint, flooring, furniture all being replaced
The spector of change must surely be faced

Will menus and choices be expanded or not
Meals in our rooms sometimes are not hot

Will blinds be rehung to cut down the light
Or will the chatting clammer create a fright

The date for improvements is constantly changing
Impossible to know when this disaster is waning

Soon is the day when it’s all said and done
We can return to our usual schedules and fun

Residents will have adjusted
Management won’t be combusted
Memories will have faded
No one has been jaded
When all is said and done

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